GDPR……
So, turns out the world and his wife are making a mahoosive song and dance about this GDPR shizzle,
and to be honest it bores me to tears, but it’s kinda compulsory so here we are!!
I would rather be doing anything in the world than talking about this ballsack nonsense, like watching The Vampire Diaries or some other cool shit like that, but turns out I need to tell you what I actually plan to do with all your top secret shizzle, and you need to be uber cool with this, agree and then we can continue along our epic paths of epicness.
So, to make this all work, if you fill out a contact form it has a tick box where you agree that you are cool with me to contact you….I mean, why else would you be contacting me?? Duh…..This has to be the most pointless and useless idea in the world, like, EVER!
If you’ve not been put off thus far, and decide to send me your to secret shizzle such as your name and holy shit, maybe, like, where you’re getting your hitch on, I will glance my eye over it and get back to you as I’m thinking you sound like a pretty awesome human being. I promise not to broadcast your top secret shizzle as I’ll keep it safe in my password protected phone and super computer machine where my email accounts have more passwords than I care to remember. I won’t bombard you with crappy newsletters, offers or any of that spammy shit, as no one ever reads them and puts them straight into the trash can. The only time I promise to use your top secret shizzle is if you decide you like my photos and stuff and think I may just fit like a glove into your wedding day. If you do decide to hire me, I might just have to contact you for payment or more likely where the hell me and my camera need to go on the day. I can also be a tad ‘old skool’ and write your top secret shizzle in my trusty old leather Filofax. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, and I know how to use it….so don’t judge me!!
Once the dust has settled and you have your amazing images, I can delete or burn all of your top secret shizzle. If you have trust issues with me doing this, I can film this for you and send you the proof for the costly sum of £30…..but seriously, who even does this, right??
I’ll spend all day taking shit hot pictures of you and your guests, cos that’s what you’re paying me to do, right…..but sometimes I blow my own mind with my awesomeness and think HELL YEAH, I FRICKING LOVE THIS. So, I’ll post these on my social media platforms and website and blogs that I’ll write. This’ll stop me becoming another number in the queue at the job centre (see, told you I was old skool)
If you don’t want me to do this, then just let me know. You don’t have to explain why but I’ll just assume that your life is wayyyy more exciting than mine and that you must be James Bond’s assistant at MI6 or maybe one of the Queens guards or something else totes exciting like that.
So, if you’re cool with all this nonsense, that’s great. If you’re not, then just let me know and I won’t get back to you as ummm, well, you know – I can’t!!!
Kabbish kabbosh – everyone happy?
COOL – Love Dollface xx